고래사냥 Whale seeking and loving in my darkness by Gyun Hur
August 10, 2022
![A sepia-colored photograph of a wave crashing shoreline frames an overlaid image in the center, it is the same image colored differently in white, charcoal, and blue hues. Onto the photo, a pen drawing of mayfield brooks (dancing in Sensoria: An Opera Strange) is walking across the rocky shore with their arms outstretched and their hair hanging in front of their face.](https://danspaceproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/DreamofAudience_Journal03_B-2-1024x1024.jpg)
Danspace Project invited interdisciplinary artist and educator, Gyun Hur to attend the Platform 2022 performances and respond. The following piece is the last of 3 offerings from Hur, in response to the Platform, and includes words, images, and poetics prompted by mayfield brooks’ Sensoria: An Opera Strange.
“우리들 사랑이 깨진다 해도
모든 것을 한꺼번에 잃는다 해도
우리들 가슴속에는 뚜렷이 있다
한마리 예쁜 고래 하나가
[translation]
Even our love breaks
Even we may lose everything at once
In our hearts, there surely is
One beautiful whale.” [1]
“Where is the whale
My heart is always broken
Where is the whale
I wanted to be a gospel singer
Where is the whale
I don’t know what i’m doing but i’m trying to actually weep for my ancestors
Where is the whale (wail)
Where is the whale (wail) refrain
Where is the whale (wail)
Where is the whale (wail) refrain” [2]
![A sepia-colored and edited photograph of a group of Korean women, holding babies, and smiling as they look at a man taking their photo. One woman is breastfeeding. At the center of the photo is a drawing of a green cabbage and below that is a white bar with notes written in Korean.](https://danspaceproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/DreamofAudience_Journal03_C-300x248.jpg)
고래사냥 Whale seeking and loving No.2, watercolor and pen drawing on paper (9” x 8”), digital montage, 2022 | Korean Image Archive
If you were to ask me if I ever dreamt of a day of full healing,
I would smirk and spit you warm cabbage leaves chewed, softened from my colostrum.
I would shout and insist that you find that whale forever lost.
Where is the whale,
My love, my everything.
I dreamt being sucked into that turquoise blue, whale seeking and loving in my darkness.
고래야, 어디있노
내 사랑, 나의 모든 것
When
love is made,
we sink ourselves in relief and
we tell ourselves these lies that we can delight in such a promise
of full healing,
that forever-ness may be possible.
Hallelujah.
![Two images side by side: on the left is a sepia-colored photograph of a Korean woman holding a ball and net over her shoulder as she walks forward, a meandering line of other people walking behind her. On the right side is a hand drawn design, reminiscent of the center set piece of mayfield brooks’ Sensoria: An Opera strange, a cluster of knotted hair-ties adorned with colorful plastic balls.](https://danspaceproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/DreamofAudience_Journal03_F-300x197.jpg)
고래사냥 Whale seeking and loving No.3, blue pea flower tea (made by mayfield brooks) and pen drawing on paper (18” x 11”), digital montage, 2022 | Korean Image Archive
You tell me now,
Oh the whale, I saw it.
Way deep down her throat and bosoms,
The daughter of that poor blind man swallowed that whale
And dived herself as deep as she could in the East Ocean next to that island no one claimed.
And we have not seen her or the whale for about 2 years.
Oh that whale… my love, my everything.
![A sepia-colored photograph of a group of Korean people smiling and sitting on a beach, rolling hills behind them. Overlaid at the center of this image is another image, a still of a video of mayfield brooks performing in their work, Sensoria: An Opera Strange at Danspace Project. Mayfield stands at the center of the St. Mark’s church altar, surrounded by siny black, silver and gold material, they are in a crouched gesture, throwing the shiny material overhead in a fast sweeping movement.](https://danspaceproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/DreamofAudience_Journal03_D-300x244.jpg)
고래사냥 Whale seeking and loving No.4, digital montage, 2022 | Korean Image Archive and Sensoria: An Opera Strange, mayfield brooks, Danspace Project.
나의 전부였던 나의 사랑, 나의 고래는
그 장님의 딸, 심청이의 목 메인 가슴속에 있다하니
깜깜한 어둠속에서
꺼이 꺼이 운다 한들
나의 가슴속에서 떠나가버린 그 고래가 돌아오지 않으ㅡㅡㅡ듯 하다.
한 맺힌 노래가 창이 되고
콧물과 눈물이 머리카락과 범벅이가 되어
젖살 부른 가슴을 매어 잡고
나의 잃어버린 사랑, 나의 고래를
무릎으로 질질 끌어가본다.
[translation]
My whale, my love, my everything –
Now buried in that blind man’s daughter Sim Chong’s [3] choked up heart,
In darkness,
As I wail gguh ee gguh ee [4]…
That whale left from my bosom may not everrrrr return.
Song borne in han [5] becomes an old folk song,
Snots and tears mudded with tangled hair,
I hold swollen breasts,
My lost love, my whale,
I drag them and crawl on my knees.
![Danspace Project Program with indecipherable handwritten notes written on the cover. The Program type reads, in black print on white paper, "Danspace project. Spring 2022. Platform 2022: The Dream of the Audience, part two. Danspace Project pays respect to Lenape peoples. We acknowledge that this work is situated on the Lenape island of Manhahtaan (Mannahatta) in Lenapehoking, the Lenape homeland. We pay respect to Lenape land, water, and ancestors past, present, and future.](https://danspaceproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/DreamofAudience_Journal03_G-248x300.jpg)
Gyun Hur. Artist notes taken during mayfield brooks’ performance, SenSoria: An Opera Strange, 2022.