by Gyun Hur

“… I make the distinction between prayer versus praying… Praying is not about supplication and begging for. Praying is communicating… so that you have more information, so that you can go about your business.” -Reggie Wilson in Conversation with Thomas F. Defrantz in Dancing Platform Praying Grounds: Blackness, Churches, And Downtown Dance

“Hey, you know, everybody’s talkin’ about the good old days, right

Everybody, the good old days, the good old days

…

Try to remember, and if you remember then follow

Oh, why does it seem the past is always better . . .” [1]

[1] “The Way We Were/Try to Remember” adapted and written by Harvey Schmidt and Tom Jones and sang by Gladys Knight & The Pips in their cover for I Feel a Song (1974).

– Words and lyrics remembered from the performance of Reggie Wilson/Fist and Heel Performance Group’s … they stood shaking while others began to shout, March 22 – 24, 2018

I remember waking up in the middle of night with my grandmother praying –

Praying for each grandchild of hers, letting her god know that she would like for each one to be well.

“ I pray for Min,

I pray for Joo,

I pray for Hong,

I pray for Jieun,

I pray for Jae-hyuk,

I pray for Kyoung,

I pray for Rin,

I pray for Gyun,

I pray for Hwal,  …”

Holding a silk embroidered blanket over my face, I breathed in and out of my tears and terror, waiting patiently for my name to be called and be blessed.

Only if she knew, only if I knew what were to come, that all of those names would be no longer traceable, she could have prayed for that, too.

Prayer betrays, yet I am realizing praying lets you move on.

Gyun Hur, Untitled, pen and collage on paper, 8.5” x 12” (2018)

Perhaps that’s what she was doing.

Praying,

So she can go about her business.

Gyun Hur, Untitled, pen and collage on paper, 8.5” x 12” (2018)